Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
