its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
