Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize