well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
