nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
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He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
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At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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