Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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