My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
