So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
