How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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