I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
