I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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