I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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