Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
