I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
