captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
