It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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