i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
how does that bad decision feel?
Congratulations! We have a period
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
