Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
