I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
