I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
