I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
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Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
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Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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