Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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