Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
