dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
