I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
