I am in a vortex of obligation.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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