I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize