Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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