I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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