If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize