I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
