she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
