Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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