she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
