i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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