GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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