I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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