This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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