no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
