If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
