Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
