It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize