Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
