Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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