TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
