I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
