We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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