You're completely useless in the revolution.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
