I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
now i know why i became what i already was.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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