the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
