He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
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P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
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Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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