I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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