What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
