So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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