there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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