my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
These tits shall not be calmed
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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