I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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