Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
