THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
