have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
