I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
