when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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