i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
