I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
